It’s day 9 y’all! Day 9 is all about what keeps me motivated.
Life with EDS can be very discouraging, frustrating and sometimes down right miserable but it is important to stay motivated and try and maintain good spirits throughout each day. How? Good question.
There are few things that keep me motivated on a daily basis except just plain determination to do more and be more than I am. It is no secret that I am stubborn. I push myself in everything I do but I tend to push myself too much when it comes to EDS. My motivation is to do more than the day before. I want to push myself because I do not like the idea of being bedridden and sedentary. I like adventure and I know if I don’t push myself then I will not be able to enjoy life. That being said, I love a challenge and I challenge myself to walk that extra 30 minutes after I start hurting because I want to know that I can do it.
Another motivation for me is my friends and family. I know you are probably tired of hearing this but they really are the best things in my world. I have always wanted to make my parents and friends proud. In fact I actually dream about making my parents proud. I used to have this dream pretty often. In the dream, I physically trained everyday and my EDS went away and I was able to run again. My parents were so happy they cried and were so proud of my accomplishments. Now obviously training isn’t going to make the EDS go away (wouldn’t that be nice) but I have very realistic goals now. I want to graduate, be a mom, retire, etc. I know that any goal is harder for me but is within reach. I am going to be better and make everyone proud. I may have a broken body but my spirit is intact.
Day 8 of the blogging challenge asks, “what are your top 5 goals you wish to accomplish despite your chronic illness?”
This is a great question. I have found that even though I live with a lot of pain that I am ambitious and stubborn. I know that I am not capable of doing all that others are but I do not think that I am incapable in general. I know that I am able to do all things with small modification. The following are the goals that I plan on accomplishing and how.
1. Bachelors Degree. I am currently working on my degree for Special Education. It has been a struggle but I am doing okay. With my professors and friends help I have been maintaining good grades and making something of myself. I am one year away from achieving this goal and (hopefully) making a difference in kids lives.
2. Being a good wife. I do not want to be the wife that does nothing. I will not be the wife who doesn’t clean around the house or cook because of my illness. I believe that a marriage is 50/50 and I will not be the wife that makes my husband do everything. I will work and participate in household activities. I am lucky to have a man in my life who loves me more than anything and is willing to do anything to help me but I can not and will not take advantage of him. Next June I plan on marrying my best friend.
3. Masters degree. With EDS it seems unrealistic to expect to teach for 30 years. Teaching is a lot of standing and helping children throughout the day. I want to work for a Masters in hopes to grow into a position in project management or administration. I enjoy what I do and can’t wait to teach but I want to keep realistic goals. Teaching is my passion but moving towards admistration will help me in the long run and allow me to live out my dreams.
4. Being a mom. This is a goal that I’m not sure how I will accomplish but it will be accomplished. I will either have my own children, adopt, foster, or a combination. The only thing that I know for sure is that I will be a mom and I will be a good mom. No mom is perfect but I will do my best. My goal is that my children will never suffer because of my illness. My children will be aware of my struggles but I hope that they never suffer because of me. That would kill me.
5. Retiring. As an EDS-er retirement is a long time away. It is hard to imagine that far ahead because I can not anticipate how my EDS will progress. Retirement is something that I really want to accomplish because it is an ambitious goal. It seems to be far fetched but it is my ultimate long term goal.